What are the keys to longevity? We all know that healthy habits top the list, as does “rampant sex”, according to scientists from Rome’s Sapienza University and the San Diego School of Medicine. These are both things we can totally get on board with, but we may have just discovered THE absolute best way to increase your lifespan and it involves breasts… boobs… ta tas… breasteses… whatever you wanna call ’em.
Britain’s The Sun recently did some digging to unearth the six keys to increasing a man’s life expectancy, which currently averages out to 79. Not bad, but it could be better. In addition to the above two hacks, the tabloid also lists getting married and starting a family, but it’s their No. 1 suggestion for living longer that has us pretty damn intrigued.
Their top recommendation is to “stare at boobs.” We kid you not. Citing a 2012 study published by Teachers College, Columbia University, which was titled ‘Positive Attitude Can Benefit Patients with Chronic Disease’, The Sun points out that there is real scientific proof of the link between emotional and physical health.
In other words, when you’re happy and focused on the positive, you boost your own health. For example, of the coronary artery disease patients involved in the study, “55 percent who practiced a positive attitude and self-affirmations increased their physical activity” compared with 37 percent of those who had no time for positivity. That increased exercise then translated into numerous potential health benefits.
The study concluded by suggesting that, fellas, “as you go through your day, notice small things that make you feel good and take a moment to enjoy them.” Given that thinking of (and looking at) boobs can make you feel preeeeetty good, we’d say they’re the best source of positivity you could ask for. So go on, appreciate them, think about them, applaud them and you might just get to spend more time on this earth doing all of the above.